This month is Domestic Violence Awareness month. Did you know that one in four women report some sort of abuse in her most intimate relationships? We’ve all been in situations where we have a gut feeling something isn’t quite right or someone has disclosed something to us and we’re not sure what to do. Sometimes we respond by pretending…
Julie knew she was in a difficult marriage but she couldn’t quite put her finger on why. Whenever she tried to assert herself, especially around money issues, it never went well. Sam earned the majority of the family income and insisted Julie keep a strict accounting of all her spending. Each week Sam collected her receipts and then…
Have you ever been bitten by a poisonous snake and felt its lethal effect coursing through your veins? I have. No, I never have been snagged by the fangs of a rattlesnake or cobra, but I been attacked by other kinds of snakes that inject their poison of hate, bitterness, irritation, discouragement, hopelessness, fear, depression…
Sarah came to counseling astonished that it has taken her fifty years to finally learn how to say “No.” “I’ve always put everyone else first,” she said. “Now I see that I’ve only enabled my husband’s selfishness to flourish.” One of my relatives recently shared a similar story. At 74 years old, she wired up her courage and said, “N…
John and Cindy frequently argued about how to handle their finances. John bought the latest electronic gadgets. Cindy clipped coupons and shopped second hand stores. As retirement loomed, Cindy’s anxiety about their financial future grew. Every time she tried to talk with John about saving more money however, he became defensive…
“Reckless words pierce like a sword.” Proverbs 12:18 “With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor” Proverbs 11:9 “The tongue has the power of life and death. Proverbs 18:21 Growing up we all heard the nursery rhyme, “sticks and stones will break our bones but words will never hurt us.” It is a lie. The wounds may be invisible,…
I always tell my coaching clients, no one gets all 52 cards in a deck. What I mean by that is there is no “perfect” man or spouse. You might marry a man that is naturally handy around the house and can fix anything that’s broken, but he won’t read a book or have a deep discussion with you. Other woman marry men who are capable of wonderfully…
Father’s Day has passed and many of you had wonderful barbeques or breakfasts celebrating your dads. Others are feeling sad, disappointed and flooded with memories of an awful childhood. You may have been abandoned, sexually abused, emotionally battered or treated with indifference or cruelty. How do we honor this kind of father?…
Like many of you, I’m simplifying my life. I’m getting rid of stuff I don’t need, don’t use, can’t take care of or don’t want. Recently I ran across an old letter I’d saved, written by my mother. Throughout my entire life, we had an emotionally destructive relationship. Even as an adult, as a Christian and as a professional counselor,…
It was a regular Sunday morning, my husband and I attended worship at our home church. Our senior pastor was on vacation so an associate pastor was preaching on Psalm 51, David’s prayer of repentance after Nathan the prophet confronted him with his sin against Bathsheba and her husband Uriah. My pastor described the backdrop of what…
