Mark Merrill of Family First has a list of seven things he believes husbands should stop doing in their marriages – and how they can be a positive influence in their families.
1. Stop dishonoring your wife by criticizing her in front of your children or in public.
Mark suggests working on your “compliment-to-critique” ratio, especially if you’re wired with a critical spirit.
“I am the Romans 7 poster child – the only way to deal with these things is to place it before the cross and ask God to change us.”
2. Stop comparing your wife to other women.
“Just about every couple has experienced it in some way. Comparison is toxic in a relationship and stacks the deck against your spouse. Everybody falls short of living the life God wants us to live.”
Mark points out that we only see what’s happening on the surface of other people’s lives, and things are never as perfect as they seem.
3. When your wife tells you about a problem she’s having, don’t immediately try to solve it.
“I tried that many times before… all guys have experienced this.” Mark says ask your wife what she wants from you – a solution, or a listening ear.
4. Stop trying to control your wife.
“Last time I checked, there’s only one Holy Spirit and it’s not me. I wanted [my wife Susan] to be more like me! The strong, aggressive person. When after so many years she started to become like me, I didn’t like what I saw. I had to go to my wife, ask for her forgiveness and set her emotionally free from that – I saw her blossom.”
5. Stop being passive when it comes to disciplining and training your kids.
6. Don’t be alone with a woman who is not your wife or a relative.
7. Stop feeding your sexual desires with things other than your wife.