“X-ray vision is the ability to view a normally-obstructed object with extreme clarity.”
This is what Focus on the Family’s Dr. Greg Smalley calls us to use with our spouses. When we use a negative lens, everything our spouse does can drive us to contempt, which is the death knell for any marriage.
Greg points to the Old Testament story of Gideon in Judges 6 to illustrate the impact of seeing with X-ray vision. God had allowed the Midianites to attack the Israelites by consuming all their resources. Gideon – filled with fear and weakness – was in the mountains hiding food when an angel appears and calls him to be a mighty warrior.
Imagine a conversation between a young man who feels weak and the angel who continues to affirm him. The angel, clothed in brilliant light, is telling him he’s strong and courageous – but the young man can’t see past his fear.
“That’s X-ray vision. The angel saw through the arguing, the fear, the pushback, the debate and continued to see what was true about him. What was true about Gideon was that he was a mighty warrior. He goes on to defeat the Midianites with just three hundred men.”
When our spouse is frustrating, challenging, and confusing we can choose to look past the exterior and see what’s true about them.
“At the very core of who we are, is who God made us to be. We’re made in His image. You’re married to a prince or princess of the Most High God. The Most High King, this is His son, His daughter, and He made every one of us fearfully and wonderfully.”
Choose to look past the weaknesses in your spouse and actively call out the warrior within. Your words of affirmation will cause them to rise up in strength and faith and remind you of God’s love for them.
“That’s how you battle contempt.”