What does it mean to be a successful man? Author and speaker Bill Farrel lists seven life skills every man should have – and how to cultivate them.
“Men were designed by God to be strong and be aggressive. That’s why He loaded us up with testosterone – He wanted us to get after life… Every time you have strength, there’s a possibility of creating damage. If we’re not careful, we’ll start to define men by what they’re not supposed to do.”
1. Focus your passions:
“Many men are underachieving because they’ve turned off their passions. They start giving up on their pursuits, because they feel defeated. They take the best years of their life and hand them off to silly pursuits.”
Bill points out that our culture tends to talk to young men about responsibilities instead of their dreams. They are not mutually exclusive, and ignoring their dreams can lead to a generation of men with wrung-out hearts.
2. Pray like a man:
“As men, we’re not on earth to live necessarily quiet lives. God’s got a plan to win the hearts of people. At least once a week, set apart time for God and say ‘God, You go first.’ Assume that everything that comes to mind is something God wants to talk to you about. He’s going to bring up things that are holding us back.”
- Lead with worship.
- Realize that prayer isn’t about performance – don’t come to prayer thinking “How can I succeed in this prayer?”
- Let God ignite passions in your heart.
3. Pursue a plan:
A man with a plan will always do better than a man who lives by accident. Bill points out that many men stumble into success, but taking the time to put together a strategy is a mark of wisdom.
4. Build what only you can build:
“Every man was made to build something. Some men miss the message – the stereotype is that the men who build with their hands are more manly than everyone else. Building is a much broader term than just putting up structures.” Bill urges men to see a need, devise a way to meet it, and provide the structure to drive the project forward.
5. Act your age:
“Every decade is characterized by a different focus. If a man grabs onto that focus, he’s going to be highly effective in that decade.”
- 20’s – idealism and energy
- 30’s – commitment to career and family; a time to be industrious
- 40’s – a time of intensity, changing bodies, and hardness of life
- 50’s – the best time of life and a time of increased influence due to wisdom and skill
6. Be a skilled lover:
“Part of the path to greatness is learning how to love. A man who learns how to listen to his wife is on the path to greatness.
7. Finish what you start:
“Nobody gives out medals at the beginning of the race. The rewards of life always come at the finish line. I want to be known as a man who gets to the end and his Savior meets him at the finish line and says ‘Well done.'”
In his book, 7 Simple Skills for Every Man, Bill says this:
“A man’s life is not supposed to be defined by what he isn’t and what he doesn’t do. Men are created to act, accomplish, and inspire. We are made strong so we can overcome obstacles, focused so we can pursue worthwhile goals, and passionate so we can have an enduring influence on our world.”
Highlight : Don’t discount your gifts
7 skills every man should know: Part 1
7 skills every man should know: Part 2
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