The definition of an adult conversation – The process of unemotionally sharing information with another person in order to communicate effectively.
You can derail an adult conversation by:
1. Choosing to deliver your message with an angry, frustrated, or generally disagreeable tone or body language.
Research shows that words are only 6% of the message that is heard. Body language and tone make up the other 94% of the communication. Be aware of what you’re saying nonverbally.
2. Choosing to focus on what you will say in reply rather than listening to what is being said.
Two ears and one mouth – undoubtedly the ratio is significant! Pay attention to the entire message before responding.
3. Choosing to indulge in “Communication Turn-Offs.”
These include crying, pouting, sarcasm, and intimidation to name a few. Avoid any additional form of manipulation.
4. Choosing to have a hidden agenda.
This involves cleverly masking the truth with something deemed more likely to get the desired result. It’s a form of control. Examine your motive and relinquish control.
5. Choosing to bring up one problem after the next with no discussion of possible solutions.
This continually shifts the focus and nothing is accomplished.
6. Choosing to have unexpressed expectations.
No one is a mind reader. Define your expectations and encourage that behavior. Take note that simply expressing your expectations doesn’t mean they’ll be met.
7. Choosing NOT to attempt an adult conversation.
This one is obvious. Avoiding a necessary adult conversation does nothing to solve a difficulty or to strengthen the connection between individuals.
Don’t be afraid. Just remember to avoid the choices that can derail your adult conversation!