When my twins were newborns one of the things that would always puzzle me about them was the way they would react when it was time to eat. Screaming like monkeys, flailing their arms and turning beet red in the face. I pretty much fed them on a three hour schedule and I never forgot but they would act as if I did. Their loud petitions were that of someone who had been forgotten, who hadn’t eaten in days. I remember thinking
“I just fed you three hours ago don’t you trust me by now?”
After three months..even though I had proven myself…over and over..every meal time, I had fed them…still they screamed..but I never failed them once.
I would always feed them.
I wouldn’t forget.
It was such a defining picture for me….I remember one day feeling The Lord say “This is you too”. This was and is me too. He has fed me. He has given me water. He has always been and always will be my provision and my sustainer. Everyday like morning manna He remembers me. He doesn’t forget, but I do at times forget. We all do. In the middle of that place where we can’t see tomorrow, we fear He has forgotten and that we will be left hungry. In the place where we feel as though we can taste it on our tongues but cannot hold it to our lips yet. We fear that maybe He has forgotten. Trials cloud our memories and we begin to lose trust. We forget and perhaps God may be saying,
“Don’t you remember, don’t you trust me-yet?”
One of my very closest friends has experienced a crisis of trust in her life this past year and a half. Her husband of 9 years was in a tragic motorcycle accident that left him in a vegetative state – speechless., motionless in a nursing home and then he passed at just 38 years of age. She is left with pieces of a portrait that she would have never painted for herself. A now single mom of a 5 year old daughter and a 7 year old son, in a 24 hour period her life changed. Finding a home, a job, an identity, a vision, a life without what should have been. Living in VA hospitals uncertain if he would survive, fighting for a life that was no longer, living a nightmare she couldn’t awaken from – she was hungry and desperate…but then she remembered.
She remembered the God who fed her before.
She remembered His hand.
She remembered His truth.
She remembered who He was, always has been and always will be.
She remembered who He said she was – she is His.
She remembered that He said, He would never leave her, he would never forsake her. He had plans not to harm her but to give her a hope and a future..
These things she remembered, these things brought her life, these things brought her peace. His eternal living food gave her life, His manna of truth fed her hope in the depth of her soul and tasted better than any tangible food that man could bring her. This hope was her intangible bread in the midst of her very tangible suffering. She remembered, she got up, she breathed in His truth and exhaled fear and has become one of the most amazing testimonies of a faithful survivor that I know. She embraced her tragedy and let God feed her what she needed for each day and was filled, so filled that she pours herself for others because it is in and through where she has been that allows her to feed others hope.
Today she flourishes. Today she is beautifully raising those babies. Today she shares her story with other single moms, leading them, encouraging them and pointing them to the bread of life – the only sustenance that satisfies. Her days are not easy and her nights are long, she doesn’t know what tomorrow will bring but what she does know is she has tasted what her soul needs.
Taste and see that the Lord is good;
blessed is the one who takes refuge in him. Psalm 34:8
She knows He will never leave her hungry. She presses on knowing that despite her trial God is still who He says He is.
This is what trust looks like: Not understanding all of the whys but knowing who holds you in the middle of it.
This is what trust looks like: To allow the empty spaces to be filled by Him and Him alone
This is what trust looks like: To know that the grander scheme is unfolding through it
To know that no pain is ever wasted. To know that
For he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things. Psalm 107:9
Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? Matthew 6:26-27
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6
If today you are in a place where you feel as though God has forgotten you, remember who it is that holds you.
Remember that He has fed you before and He will never leave you hungry.
Remember that He will never forget you.
Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yes, they may forget, yet I will not forget you. Isaiah 49:15 (AMP)