Don’t be “it”.

When we’re young, the game of tag is fun, challenging, and exhilarating. But when we play ‘relational tag’ as adults (think blame-casting and deflection), it fractures relationships and leads to bullying, resentment, tension, and loneliness. How can we learn to manage conflict in a mature, responsible way?

This plays out in our conflicts when we resort to blaming the other person instead of claiming responsibility. Dr. Pickering and his wife spend time working with couples to develop healthy ways to handle conflict. He says we must come to a place of being able to look at the other person in the middle of a conflict and say, “I’m precious to God, and you’re precious to me.”

Listen below as Susie Larson,  Bill Arnold, and Dr. Glenn Pickering look at common practices of healthy relationships, unpacking the game of relational tag, including:

  • The signs of a game of tag
  • Why we find it easier to blame others when we walk through a conflict or difficult
  • The difference between a lack of turmoil and true peace
  • How to handle conflict in a healthy way
  • The most dangerous question we can ask – “What do I want?”

Dr. Pickering says no relationship is one sided, and that truth also applies to the positive and negative dynamics. Couples need to work as a team to rebuild intimacy and walk with a forgiving and humble heart: “It takes two of us to fix a broken relationship.” When we remember that the other person has value, and that the end goal is unity rather than being right, we can start the process of reconciling and overcoming issues.

Highlight : Start with yourself

The dangerous game of tag

Susie also shared her takeaways from this show:

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